We consistently go through changes, specifically in our identities. We change jobs, relationships and roles. We mean different things to different people all the while trying to figure out who we are to ourselves. When these changes happen and new...

We consistently go through changes, specifically in our identities. We change jobs, relationships and roles. We mean different things to different people all the while trying to figure out who we are to ourselves. When these changes happen and new habits and ideas are formed it can take up to two years before our psychological self realizes this. Even though other aspects of our life have changed there is no denying that it takes time for other parts of our mind and emotions to catch up. We continue to grapple as do others with the new journeys that we embark on which can lead to some very tricky circumstances.    Have you ever found that your interests, or what you found important was changing and you became conflicted? Well it turns out that is natural, we are all on different progressions throughout our lives, but it's uncomfortable when or how they come about. As we start to do these new things we pine for past activities and relationships that gave us stability and meaning. It may not set in until years later that you have truly changed despite having to mentally or emotionally convince yourself. Your setting and your circumstances have changed, but “you” haven’t.    We have to allow ourselves grace throughout this journey as we recognize the new ways that we find joy and fulfillment. Coming to grips with this can be traumatic for those around us and ourselves, therefore the worst thing we can do is try and blame our changing identities on anyone. It isn’t our friend's faults or our faults. Residual effects from our change in identity is hard to understand and hard to calculate when it will come about, but just try and understand that what grounded you and gave you emotional support for so long is changing now, and that takes time to understand.

Identity Lag